1.Front Row
do you go to the dungeon to find out how to make peace with your
days in the dungeon writing a letter
to you didn't make me feel any more peaceful then how I felt
when we weren't speaking because I
didn't cop to what I did. I can't love you because we're
supposed to have professional boundaries. i'd
like you to be schooled and in awe as though you were kissed by
god full on the lips . i'm in the front
row the front row with popcorn I get to see you see you close up
i'm too tired to recount the
unpleasantries one by one one minute I want to banish you the
next I want to be on
a deserted island with you along with my three favorite cd's
ambivalent yet in your
bed we've yet to acknowledge what really happened
slid into the ditch I have this overwhelming loss of ambition we
said let's name thirty good reasons why
we shouldn't be together I started by saying things like 'you
smoke' 'you live in new jersey (too far)'
you started saying things like 'you belong to the world' all of
which could have been easily
refuted but the conversation was hypothetical I am totally short
of breath for you why can't you shut
your stuff off..... i'm in the front row the front row with
popcorn I get to see you see you close up
and I laughed until my lungs hurt I love how you bust my chops
you don't always
feel seen sometimes you feel erasable unfortunately I cannot
reciprocate in my
current state I think we should be careful of how much time we
spend together
........for a while i'm speaking you know how much you hate to
be interrupted maybe spend some
time alone to fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn't
always have to be about you i've been wanting
your undivided attention I like the fact that you're nothing
like me are you not burdened by the lack of
perspective people have of your charmed life (seemingly)？ i'm in
the front row the front row with
popcorn I get to see you see you close up you never meant to be
ungrateful nor held up to
be whipped or wept for certainly not analysed prodded at more
ways than one
apparently you've been misrepresented dealing with the concept
of arrows being
slung towards your outrageous fortune
hey i'm not mad at you guardian i'm mad at myself for spending
so much time with you and your
jeckyl and hydeness i'm glad i figuratively slapped you on the
wrist you laughed a wicked laugh
and said 'come here let me clip your wings!'(i know he's blood
but you can still turn him away you
don't owe him anything) 'raise the roof' he yelled 'yeah raise
the roof!' I yelled back. (unfortunately
you needed a health scare to reprioritize.) no thanks to the
soap box. having me rile against them
won't make an ounce of difference...... i'm in the front row the
front row with popcorn. I get to see
you see you close up oh the things i've done for you many a
sitch a friend a man's
been left for you oh the books i've read for you the tongues
i've bitten for you many
a new city for you many a risk taken for you (not a single
regret)
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